Sense For The Senseless Number I

I work part time delivering pizzas for our local za joint. I realize that most of what I am about to say is common sense. However I find that most of the people that I deliver to are missing the gene that provides common sense. So here is a guide for the prevention of cruelty to pizza delivery drivers every where.

1- Know where you live and how to get there.
I mean seriously how do you expect me to take you your pizza when even you don't know how to get to your house? More importantly how do you expect emergency personnel to find you? Now the smart asses among you will reply that you look for the house on fire. However that doesn't work when your having a heart attack. When was the last time that someone having a heart attack caused thick black smoke to poor out of the window. Kinda blows a hole in the “look for the burning house” philosophy.

2- Don't jump out of the bushes at the pizza guy
Pretty self explanatory. Mainly cause you never know if it will be a 5'1 female who will run and scream or a 6'3 guy like me who will drop kick you across the yard.

3- Don't tip like a moron
If you tip don't act like you just fed the hungry in Africa for a year. Also don't act like your amazing if your pizza is $24.90 and you give us $25 and tell us to keep the change. Just remember that we are no different than waiters. You wouldn't tip your waiter ten cents don't do it to us.

And finally......

4- Don't EVER threaten your delivery driver
And I cannot stress this one enough. Just remember that most drivers also work in the kitchen. Imagine if you will what we could do to your pizza without you ever knowing.


Like I said it's all common sense, but I think the Internet emits waves that kill that gene in small children who then grow up into the people that are voting to turn us into an ObamaNation.