And Now For Something Entirely Different

It's time

2008-12-28T22:57:00.001-08:00

Hey ya'll sorry I haven't posted lately. It's a funny cycle, when I have all the time in the world to post I have no motivation due to depression. When I have the motivation to post it is because i am up and working and have no time. It's funny how attached and then how quickly i can stop caring about people. It's like the book says, "It was the best of times it was the worst of times." For me that usually happens in the space of a day. I still work at the good old Za hut and i managed to get seasonal work being a retail fashion consultant. Supposably it sometimes turns in to more than seasonal work but I dont think that my standards are what the company is looking for. However i am going to stop talking now and if it doesnt turn into more than seasonal I will tell more about it. The Army is the same, still need surgery still can't afford it. Still not in jail, out impregnatin people, or torching SUV's in the name of conservation. My little bro is almost done with basic and AIT for the National Guard. Well on his way to being a cannon cocker, getting married, and giving my parents the non four legged grandchildren they so desperately want. So I am not dead, just not motivated, however I have some kick ass New Years resolutions and hopefully this up coming year wont blow as many chunks as this last one, or at least smaller chunks would be nice.

Warning

2008-09-22T01:01:00.000-07:00

It is entirely possible that the next person to:
A. Play head games with me
B. Tell me that I am a great guy and they wish they could find someone like me to date
Or
C. And combination of the two

Will
A. Be flung into Staat's lake
B. Be fed into a wood chipper
C. Be slapped so hard their eyeballs fall out of the front of their heads

For Those Of You Curious About How My Job Search Is Going

2008-09-22T01:00:00.000-07:00

Sleep Is For People With More Beer Money Than Me

2008-09-14T22:34:00.000-07:00

I was over hanging at the Hood (Orion Hood that is) when I came across his philosophy section. There he has a quote from the 500 b.c. (I assume something that was said on his birthday) from Hericletus that says "Out of every 100 men, ten shouldn't even be there, Eighty are just targets, Nine are the real fighters, and we are lucky to have them, for they make the battle. Ah, but the one, one is a warrior, and he will bring the others back."

Now hopefully what I am about to write (with apologies to Hericletus) won't make the dude spin in his grave fast enough to generate enough electricity to power New York.

Lets take this line by line

"Out of every hundred men ten shouldn't be there"
These are the Wolves Those are the Ted Bundys' of the world, the Saddam Hussiens, the Osama Bin-Ladens

"Eighty are just targets"
Those are the normal people, the sheep. The normal Tom, Dick, and Janes. Yes there are criminals in this group. However not to the scale of the aforementioned ten.

"Nine are the real fighters, and we are lucky to have them, for they make the battle"
These are the John McCain, Tod Bemer, and Abraham Lincolns of this world. The Amazing people who make our society great.

"Ah, but the one, one is a warrior, and he will bring the others back."
These are the Sheepdogs, the defenders, the protectors, the loyal people who know no limits in the defense of their friends. These people are only separated from the wolves by a sense of sometimes misguided justice. People fear them because of how closely they resemble wolves.

Now for part two....

All this can also be used to describe romantic relationships
"Out of every hundred men ten shouldn't be there"
These are the child molesters, the rapists, the people who need to be removed from the gene pool.

"Eighty are just targets"
Those are the people who (despite how they treat people) always seem to be in a relationship. People can't get enough of them. Some of them are genuinely good people, some of them are shit. Just how it works out.

"Nine are the real fighters, and we are lucky to have them, for they make the battle"
These are the people who have to bust their ass to find someone to be willing to date them. They do everything right and eventually the wander into the perfect relationship and live to be 100 and die learning to tandem skydive.

"Ah, but the one, one is a warrior, and he will bring the others back."
These are the people who are always there. The people who step in when other people let the ones they supposably love down. The ones that get fucked with to the point where the give up, or become one of the ten that need tpo be removed form the gene pool.

What category do you think you fit in? Which one do you think I fit in? Do you agree? Disagree? Keep in mind that I wrote this and have been sitting on it for about a week trying to decide whether or not to post it. Please send all hate mail to Mr. J. Burhans

The Good Kind Of Viral

2008-09-09T01:57:00.000-07:00

Pass this on to whoever you can and tell them to in turn pass it on to all their friends.

Great Video

2008-09-09T01:47:00.000-07:00

Found this fantastic video over at The Margins of Error Mr Matkin does some phenomenal videos and I can not reccomend his blog enough when your looking for a quick chuckle.

Bon Jovi Had It Right!

2008-09-09T01:15:00.000-07:00

My friend Orion posted a fairly fascinating article of at his blog call Suicide Is Painless It is a highly controversial article defending a persons right to commit suicide.

"I have always found our society's abhorrence of suicide to be a bit puzzling. Especially the various laws against it and the belief that ending one's own life is somehow illogical or insane."

What gives you the right to say that I can't end my life? Who made you God? (But more about that later. Before you lay into either Orion or myself, he covers the blatantly obvious things that are wrong with suicide.

For example euthanasia of people who cant stop you "Now, there's been quite a lot of debate about euthanasia for the terminally ill or for those in permanent vegetative states. Those are, to me, no-brainers, so I'm not even going to re-address the various pro- and con- arguments on those issues."

Suicide for the wrong reasons

Note - this does not include "That'll show her how much I love her!" or "Boy, now they'll all be sorry!". That's not legitimate

He makes valid points and causes us to think outside ourselves and look to what other people want to do with Their lives. Now getting back real quickly to the God topic. If you truly believe that your God is all powerful won't He stop the person from committing suicide? If you want to use the God gives us free will argument than your contradicting yourself. So if you want my advice and except the fact that either God allows suicide OR he is not all powerful. What is your answer?

Long story short great article from 'O and looking forward to the rest of the series.

**UPDATE**
You can go here to read the article that started it all Suicidal Ideation

Here We Go Again

2008-09-09T01:00:00.000-07:00

Same old shit again!

Alpha Phase Tester Person

2008-09-02T23:45:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine owns a company called Griffon Consulting and he is currently working on a new soldier tracking database for his army reserves unit. As a favor to him (and because I am the only one with a machine running Windows Vista) So today I officially became an Alpha phase tester. It's a pretty cool little database and I'm pretty amazed at what he did in so little time. He posted a couple little posts on his own blog about the new application.

Heres a snippet from one of them. (You can find the whole post here Almost Done)

I'm almost done with my coding project - it's just finishing up its Alpha trials and I should have it to a couple of folks at my unit for Beta testing shortly - It's 17,500+ lines of code at this point.

And here is the link for the other one Shadow

All in all alpha testing is pretty cool. Nothing like Coke and Za as payment for a few hours of easy work. Long day, Longer weekend, and its only teusday.

Sense For The Senseless Number I

2008-09-02T23:19:00.000-07:00

I work part time delivering pizzas for our local za joint. I realize that most of what I am about to say is common sense. However I find that most of the people that I deliver to are missing the gene that provides common sense. So here is a guide for the prevention of cruelty to pizza delivery drivers every where.

1- Know where you live and how to get there.
I mean seriously how do you expect me to take you your pizza when even you don't know how to get to your house? More importantly how do you expect emergency personnel to find you? Now the smart asses among you will reply that you look for the house on fire. However that doesn't work when your having a heart attack. When was the last time that someone having a heart attack caused thick black smoke to poor out of the window. Kinda blows a hole in the “look for the burning house” philosophy.

2- Don't jump out of the bushes at the pizza guy
Pretty self explanatory. Mainly cause you never know if it will be a 5'1 female who will run and scream or a 6'3 guy like me who will drop kick you across the yard.

3- Don't tip like a moron
If you tip don't act like you just fed the hungry in Africa for a year. Also don't act like your amazing if your pizza is $24.90 and you give us $25 and tell us to keep the change. Just remember that we are no different than waiters. You wouldn't tip your waiter ten cents don't do it to us.

And finally......

4- Don't EVER threaten your delivery driver
And I cannot stress this one enough. Just remember that most drivers also work in the kitchen. Imagine if you will what we could do to your pizza without you ever knowing.

Like I said it's all common sense, but I think the Internet emits waves that kill that gene in small children who then grow up into the people that are voting to turn us into an ObamaNation.

Kinky Ahem I Mean Linky Love

2008-08-29T22:30:00.000-07:00

Another blog I have been known to occasionally post to and frequent almost daily is my future landlord Orion's blog

Orion Hood

A good blog for amateur photos is this one

Stardom Awaits

Well thats all for now. More to follow at a later date

Flash Back to Basic Training

2008-08-29T21:41:00.000-07:00

I spent a lot of time on sick call while I was in basic training. I mean a lot of time, as in almost every day a lot of time. My two main sickcall buddies were Holley and Alexander Herbert. I'll tell you about Holley later, for now lets focus on Herbert. Herbert is crazy. As in he would feel more at home in the monkey house than anywhere else. However I digress, Herbert got in the habit of writing. Not letters home mind you, other stuff. Scary stuff considering this guy shot a thirty-eight out of forty with his M-16. Herbert was harmless though, just didnt want to be in the army any more. Don't get me wrong he was crazy he wasn't a faker. Said books were confinscated by Senior Drill and I thought that was the last of it. Sadly not so...

"Hello people, it looks like I'm at it again......
When I was at Basic Combat Training ( Echo Company, 3rd Battalion, 47th Infantry Regiment) I had a very small amount of spare time, but most of what time I was afforded was used on my writing addiction.
I would compose articles on many things such as Information Technology, Philosophy, Journals, and last, but not least, I started to draft out my biography.
The first book I wrote was considered radical and unorthodox by many, but word of the first installment of my biography spread throughout the platoon, and then throughout the company. People would read it, then pass it on, and even though most said it was a bit crazy, they would tell me it was one hell of a story.
I'm wondering if all the hype about "Herbert's Books" will carry on out here in the civilian world as well as it did in the army, and theres only one way to find out.
My life has been a crazy ass ride ever since it began, and it only gets crazier as I live on. I got a long time of experiences to chronicle here, but I gotta start somewhere. All of the original work that I wrote in BCT was lost, but I still remember most of it. I will try to write a new chapter once a week as long as time allowances permit. That means take notice, because theres gonna be a really good fucking read posted up here.Well, it's late as fuck, and I'm gonna listen to some music to bring this shit back more clearly.

Check back about a week from now.........."

You know I really though I left all this behind me in basic. Not so lucky I geuss. This should definetly prove interesting. However I must warn you in advance that if they are as good as the originals than they ARE NOT child safe. Well thats all for now. I will publish them as they come out along with my comments.